Who in the World Invented Pantyhose?
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Who in the World Invented Pantyhose?
 
Women all over the world have to face a horrible reality when they grow up. That horrible reality falls under the name of pantyhose. Pantyhose are nothing but another chain that men have thrown over women to constrict individuality. Men don't have to wear pantyhose, and why would they? Pantyhose are meant as a torture for the female race, the same way PMS is a torture for the female race.
 
whointhew.jpg
Fatima...in Pantyhose!

Women! It is time to revolt! There is nothing fun about pantyhose in 100 degree weather. They're hot, uncomfortable, and itchy. What is the point of shaving your legs and getting a tan if you have to cover them up with panty hose anyway? It's the 90's. Thongs and bikinis are everywhere, pantyhose are but a relic. It's obvious that we as women are no longer afraid to show a little skin.

And who decided that pantyhose are attractive anyway? Have you seen how hideous a shimmery pair of pantyhose can make your legs look? Corporate America, (which is, by the way, mostly run by men) has devised pantyhose as a way to make women spend their hard earned money! Pantyhose are okay good for a limited time, one little run and it's all over. Pantyhose are payback for women invading the job market. Men said, "Hey! If they want to go and work, then let's make them spend money on ridiculous things!" Hence, pantyhose.

 
Maria Gutierrez from Riverside, CA declared, "Have you seen the price of pantyhose?" Indeed, two dollars for a pair of pantyhose that you'll probably only wear once or twice before they get a run and you can't wear them anymore does seem quite extravagant. Women need to start up a coalition that calls for a national ban on pantyhose. Take it to congress, all the way to the top. Pantyhose must be put to a stop, before they make a bigger dent in the female wallet, well, purse. Whatever.

Winnie's Closing Comments

Original comments from 12/2/99
I understand and appreciate that not all women (or men) like pantyhose, and that pantyhose may even be a real annoyance to some. However, these ludicrous rantings go beyond absurd witticisms and bear the mark of prolonged boredom from not having something worthy of real thought with which to whittle away time.

At the onset, Ms. Gutierrez suggests that the "horrible reality" of pantyhose is that they are "another chain that men have thrown over women...." This biased statement is so mired in obtuse non-logic I can only laugh! "Another chain?" Are men so powerful that they can dictate women's wear? No...not close. While the thought makes me (a male) sound ominously god-like, I can only wish I had but a tiny fraction of the power which Ms. Gutierrez so freely attributes to me. And the description of "horrible reality" is at once both nothing more than a simple overstated personal opinion and an attempt to create a mountain from a molehill. Myself and many, many others wear pantyhose without these feelings of which Ms. Gutierrez so viciously speaks.

Suggestions of constricting individuality are equally obtuse. To wear pantyhose is to add any of a huge number of colors, styles and designs to an outfit. Pink pantyhose, green pantyhose, stripes, stars, fishnets...the combinations are endless, and those with a flair for fashion embrace the opportunity to express themselves by incorporating various styles of hose into their wardrobes.

Further complaints about costs involved in purchasing pantyhose miss the mark as well. Ms. Gutierrez speaks of corporate America. Typical outfits for women in "corporate America" run into the hundreds of dollars. What's five dollars for a pair of pantyhose when shoes and the rest of the outfit cost hundreds?

I will not debunk each of Ms. Gutierrez' arguments, as there is no point in debating all the statements in an article so flooded with misdirected vociferous criticisms. Perhaps one day Ms. Gutierrez will see the positive benefits of pantyhose, and understand that a large number of people choose to wear pantyhose of their own volition. The absurd thing is that many men would like to wear pantyhose, but hide this fact for fear of being vilified by society. Actually, I know no person who has to wear pantyhose, though I do know several women who wear pants with the express purpose of avoiding them. Ms. Gutierrez has a choice not to wear pantyhose if she so desires. Any suggestions to the contrary are simply half-baked. - Winnie

Well as far as hating pantyhose, I have to wonder why anyone would feel compelled to wear them if they don't want to. It is possible to dress presentably in a professional setting without wearing pantyhose. In these days of fashion freedom, mini skirts, and long skirts, just leave the 'hose to those who like them. For those of us who like pantyhose there are sooooo many colors and textures. And hey, when it gets hot or the pantyhose are uncomfortable just take them off. Just please leave those of us who appreciate our fashion accessories to have our own choices. The existence of pantyhose is not about the oppression of women, babe, it's about fashion. As for fashion, some of us get it, and some of us don't. - Sally

This woman definitely has a panyhose complex. It appears she is suffering from a clear case of pantyhose envy! Down with Fatima! Long live pantyhose!!! - Lucy

Addendum, 12/4/99
Of course, this sort of topic isn't to be taken too seriously. Despite her simple article above bashing pantyhose (which was somewhat designed to get under people's skin), Fatima really isn't a bad person. She certainly doesn't deserve death threats! Feel free to express your opinions to her, but threats of hanging via pantyhose are just a touch overboard, IMHO. - Winnie

Addendum, 9/24/03
I am happy to report several positive improvements in Fatima's behavior over the years. Apparently, she has learned much from us! First, Fatima wears pantyhose more than you ever would have thought after first reading her article (and I can personally attest to this.) And there's a secret: Fatima actually likes shiny pantyhose! Having now grown up since her young college days, Fatima has come to appreciate many of the advantages that come with pantyhose!

That, and I have to say, Fatima is actually a cool chick! (BTW...the pic of her in pantyhose above, now posted at her site, was her retribution for the article!) Maybe we should all write to her at thegreatthinker@yahoo.com and tell her which brands of pantyhose we'd like to see her wear at her site! - Winnie


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